To Be Or Wanted To Be

Another silly email was sent to me by a friend today, so I thought I'd pass it along in case you needed a laugh...or a groan, I guess--because these are pretty cheesy!

TO BE OR WANTED TO BE

-I wanted to be an assassin so I gave it a shot.
-I wanted to be a surgeon so I took a stab at it.
-I had an itch to open a calamine lotion factory, but I knew I would have to start from scratch.
-I wanted to be a podiatrist, but I got off on the wrong foot,
-I wanted to be a urologist, but had to flush the idea.
-I wanted to be a plumber, but it was only a pipe dream.
-I wanted to be a missionary cobbler, I figured I could save soles.
-I wanted to be an optometrist, but I couldn't see eye to eye with the teacher.
-I wanted to be a barber or proctologist, so I flipped a coin to see if it would be heads or tails.
-I wanted to be a food taster, but I bit off more than I could chew.
-I wanted to be a baker, but I couldn't raise the dough.
-I wanted to be a pilot, but it never took off.
-I wanted to be a librarian, but I shelved the idea.
-I wanted to be a butcher, but I backed into a meat grinder and got a little behind in my work.
-I wanted to be a tire salesman, but that went flat.
-I wanted to be a musician, but it ended up on a bad note.
-I wanted to be a belly dancer, but I couldn't shake the feeling.
-I wanted to work as a vacuum cleaner salesperson, but the job really sucked.

I'm going to try--I wanted to be a radio announcer, so I talked my way into the job!
Any puns to add to the list? Please leave your cheesy contribution in the comment box!